Grandparents - hints for being a GREAT one!

August 27, 2021

The book I read and blogged about recently called Doing Life With Your Adult Children also had a section about grandparenting.  I love being a grandparent!  We currently have 23 grandchildren.  Each one is so special and so unique and so loved.  It is such a special blessing to get to spend time with them.  They do take lots of energy! But they grow up so quickly!  Any help I can get to better a "Nanna' is great.

The book listed the following practical ideas for influencing your grandkids:

1.  Be present. Be fun. Be generous.

- be the chief babysitter when one is needed

-your fun and generous presence matters 

- attend their games and recitals and birthdays

2.  Build lifelong memories and traditions

- some suggestions were to spend Sundays together, host a cousin's camp, vacation together, plan a special trip

-have a back to school sleepover before school starts, go to the mountains or to a cabin with the grandkids,

-make sure the grandkids have some special places in your home with things for them to play with and places to play

3.  Offer grace - constantly

-our job as a grandparent is to offer praise and support, not to give advice on everything

4.  Celebrate everything!

-this lets them know you are there for them and you are cheering them on

-celebrations make memories

5.  Recognize your role as a mentor

-a mentor is an experienced and trusted advisor

-these teaching moments come from your years of wisdom and they often come spontaneously

-your positive influence can be their hope in times of turmoil

6.  Keep supporting your adult children in their role as parents

-your job as a parent and grandparent is to come alongside the parents to help

-don't meddle

-don't talk negatively about the parents to the grandchildren

-remember your relationship with the parents is the gateway to your grandchildren

-parents are the gatekeepers and as a grandparent, you are to honor that

REMEMBER - grandchildren are your opportunity to transform the next generation. Use every opportunity to teach them Biblical morals, history, and wisdom.  Show and tell them of the love of Jesus and how to live for and serve Him.  Let them come alongside as you serve!

Watch for another blog coming soon about the importance of grandparents as Spiritual mentors!!

 

Adult children - Help! What do we do now?

September 18, 2021

Seems as though we can never get caught up and life figured out.  First it is marriage.  How do we do it? My husband won't mind me.  Help! Then - the children come.  Goodness, now what do we do?  This question goes on until they leave home.  Phew good!  NOTTA! Now you have adult children to deal with!!!

I recently read a good book: Doing Life with Your Adult Children - Keep Your Mouth Shut and the Welcome Mat Out by Jim Burns.  I read this because I was needing it now that we have grown children and grown grandchildren. I think it had some practical advice. I will share a few of things it said with you all - just in case you might 'some day' need some help too!😟

Four strategies the book gave to help you embrace your new job description as a parent of adult children 

1.  Be encouraging but not intrusive

-be caring and supportive, mentor only when called upon, and be a great cheerleader

-being intrusive means inserting yourself into your child's life in ways that aren't invited or are unwelcome; which often means keeping your ideas to yourself until your opinion is asked for

2.  Be caring, but do not enable dependency

-show loving care to your child but don't keep your child dependent on you

-let the adult children take full responsibility for their finances, actions, relationships, and growth

3.  Invest in your own emotional, physical, and spiritual health- be proactive in caring for your mind, body, and soul

-working on improving these things for yourself will make you stronger for your children 

-they will also help you develop a better perspective on issues you may be facing 

4.  Have serious fun by creating fun and enjoyable experiences you can share with your adult child/children

-this will help lead from a parent-child relationship to an adult-adult relationship

Chuck Swindoll was quoted in the book as saying, "Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children."  Just because your children are adults don't stop making wonderful memories with them.

Four guidelines to help you keep your relationship strong and to avoid giving advice when not asked:

1.  Trust that experience is a better teacher than advice

2.  Give respect: no adult wants to be told what to do

3.  Remember you are now a mentor and a coach

4.  Know that your words have the power to bless and to curse

Three principles you can use to help communicate with your children:

1.  Ask open-ended questions

2.  Talk with them, not at them

3.  Speak words of grace

I hope these ideas will give you some guidance and help.  May you have a blessed, easy, smooth transition with your children. So blessed to have them as children and then as friends!!!

Enacting the Nativity - another tradition

December 2021

Another tradition that has been carried over from my childhood was to have a Nativity scene play during our Christmas eve celebration.  On Christmas eve we would eat our meal and

then settle in for the evening's activities.  The FIRST THING for those activities was the Nativity Scene.  My mom had a sack full of costumes that the kids would pick from to dress up as the characters from the nativity scene.  Then when the kids were all dressed up, an adult would read the Christmas story.  The most fun we had with this was the year one of the girl angels was hung from a loft above everyone at my parent's house.

Our family has now carried this tradition on.  Every year it is different!  Different kids - different outfit combinations - different baby Jesus but always it is done first before any gifts. Some years we use a doll for Jesus, some years it is a live baby.  This last year it was all grandsons with only a one year old Mary.  It was so special! 

The costumes aren't elaborate.  Men's short sleeve shirts and scarves work great for the shepherds, men's t-shirts or graduation robes work for the angels, old robes are great for the wise men.  Crowns from Burger King work great for the wise men too! Look around and you can sure come up with your clothes that will work for the kids in the scene.

Usually, the grandkids are really wound up and it seems very chaotic. But I am sure these nativity scenes are making memories and also reminding us all of the meaning of Christmas.  We try to have a few minutes of seriousness and quiet and a time to thank the Lord for His coming to us as a babe. So thankful for this tradition....

Another tradition .....baking Christmas cookies

 August 27, 2021

Another tradition is to get together with our daughters and grandchildren to make Christmas cookies for all of us to eat and to give away as gifts. Every age of grandchild gets involved in the process in some way. 

We pick a day in early December and come to the ranch to bake and fellowship.  We have some standard recipes that we use again and again each year for the goodies we just love to eat and make. We each have our 'specialties' that we excel at making.  We keep two mixers and two ovens and lots of cookie sheets going in and out of the oven. Seems we are always in a hurry but we make the most of whatever time we have. When we are done baking we make a big tray of goodies for each family to eat as they celebrate Christmas.  We also box up dozens of goodies to take to friends and neighbors.

We even get the boys into the spirit of Christmas!

Traditions - we all love them

 August 27, 2021

TRADITIONS!

Do you have some traditions that your family does together on a regular basis?  I think traditions can be important to the whole family to hold it together and make it feel like 'This is what WE do!'

One tradition my parents had with our family was to have popcorn and shakes on Sunday nights. Gail and I carried on this tradition with our girls.  I have kept the popcorn in this old pail of my grandmother's for about 20 years. Recently I got a new popcorn popper for my birthday.  We eat the popcorn in the same bowls we were given for a wedding gift almost 50 years ago!! Those are some traditions.

Sometimes the grandkids come by on a Sunday evening and they know what the menu will be - popcorn and shakes! One time we had a neighbor stay all night at our house as he had no electricity.  He thought he was going to starve with this meal but I didn't weaken and served it and he did just fine!! It made a memory for him that he talked about for years!

One of our girls and her family have pizza and watch a movie on Friday nights.  The kids really look forward to this time. 

The definition of tradition is the transmission of customs from generation to generation.  Can I encourage you to start some traditions of your own within your family? These new traditions will bond you together and bring you closer to one another.  The tradition puts a stamp on your family saying: This is who we are!

Watch for more fun pictures of our traditions!

Refreshing your petunias....

 Aug. 26, 2021

In the fall I wrote a blog about getting your petunias to come up again in the spring.  I said to leave the old follage in the flower pots until spring.  Then it could be removed and watered and soon the tiny plants would begin sprouting.  Well - I took the folage off of mine and watered the pots this spring.  I was gone from home a few days and when I returned my sweet little dog had dug all of the dirt out of my pots!  

So I had to buy new potting soil and plants for the pots this year.  They have looked beautiful all summer but were starting to get spindly and strung out.  

So I want to tell you that about this time of year you can clip your petunias back.  Just trim the long stems off and they will start growing new ones again.  This way they will look fresh and good until the freezing weather comes. 

I trimmed these pots back about a week ago and they are starting to grow and bloom again.  

I did find out that the petunias I planted this year had more color and were prettier than those that came back from seed but then they also cost more money.  Hope you are having fun gardening too! So therapeudic and rewarding!

Having Faith Through the Fire - recap from John MacArthur

September 25, 2021

Recently Gail and I both listened to a broadcast by John MacArthur from his August 17, 2021,  radio program entitled Having Faith Through the Fire.  Seems like we end up in 'the fire' regularly in this old sinful world we live in.  These are the notes I took as I listened to the broadcast.....

There are four things we need to do if we want to be triumphant in the fiery ordeals we go through.

1.  Expect it

2.  Rejoice in it

3.  Evaluate it's cause

4.  Commit and entrust yourself to God 

The scripture he used was I Peter 4:12-19 where Peter talks about not being surprised WHEN fiery trials come. MacArthur said the early Christians were accused of burning Rome and were then hated, imprisoned, persecuted, and killed in terrible ways for about 200 years. Peter was writing his letters about the time Rome burned. Our lives aren't near that threatened but our troubles are big to us. We need to come through them victoriously!

He compared out hardships and trials to the smelting that was done to silver.  Ps. 66:10 "For you, O God, have tested us; you have tried us as silver is tried."  The composition holding the silver was melted down time and again to get the pure silver product as the end product.  It was a process that involved heat and time and the end product was pure and beautiful.  We are like the silver - we must go through a process to come out tried and true as a person living for Christ.  

Trials will come but we can come through them victorious!!!!  Remember the four points above and come through strong in the faith. 

Biographies for kids...

August 26, 2021

Biographies - LOVE 'EM!!! Can you remember some you read as a child? I can!

A friend posted some books on Facebook recently that I thought looked good as reading books for children.  I purchased some and want to share this 'find' with you all.  They are a great length to read, they tell the facts accurately and historically - which can lead to good discussions with your kids. They tell things the way they were.  We might not agree with the belief held by the person in the book but that can lead to discussions of what we do believe. 

The company is called Rainbow Resource Center.  I was able to purchase the books for $4.50 each.  I just found out they are approved for reading books for school children.  It is SO GREAT for our children to be able to read good, uplifting, truthful books. 

Each book starts out with the wording: Who was ___________?  I think it is great to have books both boys and girls can be interested in that are actually about real life events!

Can I do enough for the Lord? Should I be doing more?

 August 25, 2021

I recently read a newsletter by Charles Stanley that gave me peace in my heart.....I am using parts of it to relay to you what he said.

I love the Lord! I want to serve and obey Him! I want to glorify Him in all I do! I want to make Him happy with me? I struggle with thinking I cannot do enough for Him.(My thoughts!!)

Charley Stanley essentially said the same thing in his August newsletter.  But then he found hope. The answer was to ABIDE - not to strive.  Abide would mean "trusting Christ for the power to overcome wrongful ways, resting in His unfailing love, and being ever conscious of the joy of complete salvation from all sin."

He used the illustration of John  15:1-11 where it tells us He is the vine and we are the branches.  The answer was to ABIDE - "to let Christ's life flow through us and not to use our own self-empowered efforts."

John 3:24 says, "The one who keeps His commandments remains (abides) in Him, and He in him.  We know by this that He remains (abides) in us, by the Spirit whom He has given us."

We often try to live the Christian life in our own strength but this does not work.  We need to ABIDE and to practice ABIDING - to let the Holy Spirit lead us.

Jesus said in John 14:10 "I do not speak on My own, but the Father, as He abides in Me, does His works." So Jesus didn't do things from His own power but through the abiding of the Father in and through Him.

Let Christ have control of your life. ABIDE in HIM.  Then you'll find "rest for your soul,  fruitful service and character, answered prayer, confidence in God's love for you, and fullness of joy." Let go of the control of your life and trusting in yourself.  Surrender your worries and yourself to God and let His peace fill your life.  He will give you the energy and direction and peace for everything that comes your way.

Happy ABIDING!

Keep things picked up at home....

 August 27, 2021

Today I want to encourage you mothers and wives to keep your home picked up and to keep it tidy!

Because:

- you never know when someone will stop by

-you never know when your husband will bring someone in to see something in your home

My husband shot an elk when he was sixteen.  It has massive horns and is a beauty.  The horns hung in our bedroom.  A few years ago he was able to get the horns put in a mount.  This big beauty wouldn't go through the door to go back in our bedroom so it is now in the living room - for which I really am thankful! He is so proud of this elk and he often brings people who stop by the ranch in to see it.  

I try to keep the house picked up and looking good.  This not only makes me feel better but I think it shows respect to Gail also.  He can rest assured that things will look pretty good if he brings someone in to see his trophy or to have a cup of coffee. It makes him proud of our home and of my housekeeping.  

I think it is also a good witness to our Lord!  We can be good managers of what He has given us. We are blessed!

Save time and money - check your appliances out

 August 25, 2021

Just an encouragement for you to pay attention to your appliances because it can save you time and money and make the appliances last longer.  

1.  Check your dishwasher.  Is it getting the dishes clean?  I have a fairly new one and I wasn't very happy with the job it was doing on getting the dishes clean.  Many of the newer ones have filters that need to be taken out and washed.  Make sure you do that fairly often. I was washing my filter after every three or so loads but still the dishes weren't clean.   After some examination of my dishwasher, I found that a few of the openings on the arms where the water sprays out were plugged up.  It was not difficult to take the arms off and clean them out.  It works much better now!

2.  Remember to clean out the dust under your refrigerator with a vacuum once in awhile.  It lets it run cooler and will keep your house cooler during these hot days.

3.  Is your clothes dryer drying quickly?  If it takes a long time to dry you may need to clean out the vent hose on the back.  Sometimes it get too much lint in it.  In the winter I put an old nylon knee high hose on the back where the big hose goes to vent the dryer out of the house.  This puts heat and humidity in the house.  Because of lint it may need to be taken off and cleaned a couple of times during the winter.  You can gauge how often it needs changed by the amount of time it takes to dry a load of laundry. If the load is taking longer to dry then clean the nylon hose. Be sure to empty your regular lint filter too after every two or three loads of laundry  AND make sure there are no holes in it.  If there are you can take a needle and thread and sew the hole shut. It will help your dryer to keep the lint out of the vent hose. By taking care of these things your laundry time will less time and your electric bill may be lowered.

4.  Clean your washing machine.  I have seen some videos about disgusting washing machines.  I can't think most of them are that bad! But be proactive in keeping it clean and wiped out.  Mine is a front loading machine and it tends to mold.  To prevent that I use some spray to prevent mold and I keep the door ajar.

5.  Keep your oven wiped out on the bottom so it doesn't smoke the house up or cause a fire.  I purchased a mat that goes in the bottom of the oven.  If something spills over I can just take the mat out and wash it off.  It is an easy way to keep the oven clean.     Once we had a visitor who was helping to cook.  He was making biscuits.  He used powdered sugar instead of flour and the oven caught on fire and burned the element up that heated the oven.   I was able to replace it myself by going to ApplianceRepair.com and order the part.  So if you have an issue with some of your appliances you may be able to figure out the problem and fix it yourself. (I have now labeled my canisters after the powdered sugar was again used to make gravy!)

Just a few ideas to encourage and energize you!! Have a great day!!

Summer is winding down....we need to wind back up.....

 August 22, 2021

My blogs have been nonexistent since the spring.  This was not intentional.  Summer gets SO busy! My favorite time of the year is fall - when things begin to slow down, routines get back in place, and I can feel the presence of God in a fresh way.

Today I want to encourage you to use this time as an opportunity to start afresh with your walk with God.  It is so easy to procrastinate - soon I will .......  I had procrastinated on several things I needed to do in the office- phone calls I needed to make.  Friday I sat down and made those calls and I felt so good about life.  

In the same way, get back in touch with God NOW - TODAY - this fall.  IF you have been sidetracked by the busyness of summer be sure to:

  -  get back in His Word reading it and fellowshipping with Him daily

  -  try to get into a Bible study group or get a book and do a study by yourself if that is what works

  - read a book that will strengthen your faith

  -  tune into Him however you can and whenever you can.  Listen to daily devotionals on your phone or         listen to sermons on the radio every chance you get. ( I love the In Touch phone app that will talk             to me and give me daily devotions and also sermons.  I also have Sirus in the kitchen so I can                 listen to sermons while I am fixing meals.  We do lots of driving so I try to listen to sermons on             the radio as I drive.)

We must be INTENTIONAL in everything we do to strengthen our walk and fellowship with our wonderful Savior and Lord.

So if you have gotten a little off track through the summer, jump back on board and get in sweet fellowship once again ......  

So thankful for fall and starting over😉