Grandparents - hints for being a GREAT one!

August 27, 2021

The book I read and blogged about recently called Doing Life With Your Adult Children also had a section about grandparenting.  I love being a grandparent!  We currently have 23 grandchildren.  Each one is so special and so unique and so loved.  It is such a special blessing to get to spend time with them.  They do take lots of energy! But they grow up so quickly!  Any help I can get to better a "Nanna' is great.

The book listed the following practical ideas for influencing your grandkids:

1.  Be present. Be fun. Be generous.

- be the chief babysitter when one is needed

-your fun and generous presence matters 

- attend their games and recitals and birthdays

2.  Build lifelong memories and traditions

- some suggestions were to spend Sundays together, host a cousin's camp, vacation together, plan a special trip

-have a back to school sleepover before school starts, go to the mountains or to a cabin with the grandkids,

-make sure the grandkids have some special places in your home with things for them to play with and places to play

3.  Offer grace - constantly

-our job as a grandparent is to offer praise and support, not to give advice on everything

4.  Celebrate everything!

-this lets them know you are there for them and you are cheering them on

-celebrations make memories

5.  Recognize your role as a mentor

-a mentor is an experienced and trusted advisor

-these teaching moments come from your years of wisdom and they often come spontaneously

-your positive influence can be their hope in times of turmoil

6.  Keep supporting your adult children in their role as parents

-your job as a parent and grandparent is to come alongside the parents to help

-don't meddle

-don't talk negatively about the parents to the grandchildren

-remember your relationship with the parents is the gateway to your grandchildren

-parents are the gatekeepers and as a grandparent, you are to honor that

REMEMBER - grandchildren are your opportunity to transform the next generation. Use every opportunity to teach them Biblical morals, history, and wisdom.  Show and tell them of the love of Jesus and how to live for and serve Him.  Let them come alongside as you serve!

Watch for another blog coming soon about the importance of grandparents as Spiritual mentors!!

 

Adult children - Help! What do we do now?

September 18, 2021

Seems as though we can never get caught up and life figured out.  First it is marriage.  How do we do it? My husband won't mind me.  Help! Then - the children come.  Goodness, now what do we do?  This question goes on until they leave home.  Phew good!  NOTTA! Now you have adult children to deal with!!!

I recently read a good book: Doing Life with Your Adult Children - Keep Your Mouth Shut and the Welcome Mat Out by Jim Burns.  I read this because I was needing it now that we have grown children and grown grandchildren. I think it had some practical advice. I will share a few of things it said with you all - just in case you might 'some day' need some help too!😟

Four strategies the book gave to help you embrace your new job description as a parent of adult children 

1.  Be encouraging but not intrusive

-be caring and supportive, mentor only when called upon, and be a great cheerleader

-being intrusive means inserting yourself into your child's life in ways that aren't invited or are unwelcome; which often means keeping your ideas to yourself until your opinion is asked for

2.  Be caring, but do not enable dependency

-show loving care to your child but don't keep your child dependent on you

-let the adult children take full responsibility for their finances, actions, relationships, and growth

3.  Invest in your own emotional, physical, and spiritual health- be proactive in caring for your mind, body, and soul

-working on improving these things for yourself will make you stronger for your children 

-they will also help you develop a better perspective on issues you may be facing 

4.  Have serious fun by creating fun and enjoyable experiences you can share with your adult child/children

-this will help lead from a parent-child relationship to an adult-adult relationship

Chuck Swindoll was quoted in the book as saying, "Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children."  Just because your children are adults don't stop making wonderful memories with them.

Four guidelines to help you keep your relationship strong and to avoid giving advice when not asked:

1.  Trust that experience is a better teacher than advice

2.  Give respect: no adult wants to be told what to do

3.  Remember you are now a mentor and a coach

4.  Know that your words have the power to bless and to curse

Three principles you can use to help communicate with your children:

1.  Ask open-ended questions

2.  Talk with them, not at them

3.  Speak words of grace

I hope these ideas will give you some guidance and help.  May you have a blessed, easy, smooth transition with your children. So blessed to have them as children and then as friends!!!

Enacting the Nativity - another tradition

December 2021

Another tradition that has been carried over from my childhood was to have a Nativity scene play during our Christmas eve celebration.  On Christmas eve we would eat our meal and

then settle in for the evening's activities.  The FIRST THING for those activities was the Nativity Scene.  My mom had a sack full of costumes that the kids would pick from to dress up as the characters from the nativity scene.  Then when the kids were all dressed up, an adult would read the Christmas story.  The most fun we had with this was the year one of the girl angels was hung from a loft above everyone at my parent's house.

Our family has now carried this tradition on.  Every year it is different!  Different kids - different outfit combinations - different baby Jesus but always it is done first before any gifts. Some years we use a doll for Jesus, some years it is a live baby.  This last year it was all grandsons with only a one year old Mary.  It was so special! 

The costumes aren't elaborate.  Men's short sleeve shirts and scarves work great for the shepherds, men's t-shirts or graduation robes work for the angels, old robes are great for the wise men.  Crowns from Burger King work great for the wise men too! Look around and you can sure come up with your clothes that will work for the kids in the scene.

Usually, the grandkids are really wound up and it seems very chaotic. But I am sure these nativity scenes are making memories and also reminding us all of the meaning of Christmas.  We try to have a few minutes of seriousness and quiet and a time to thank the Lord for His coming to us as a babe. So thankful for this tradition....

Another tradition .....baking Christmas cookies

 August 27, 2021

Another tradition is to get together with our daughters and grandchildren to make Christmas cookies for all of us to eat and to give away as gifts. Every age of grandchild gets involved in the process in some way. 

We pick a day in early December and come to the ranch to bake and fellowship.  We have some standard recipes that we use again and again each year for the goodies we just love to eat and make. We each have our 'specialties' that we excel at making.  We keep two mixers and two ovens and lots of cookie sheets going in and out of the oven. Seems we are always in a hurry but we make the most of whatever time we have. When we are done baking we make a big tray of goodies for each family to eat as they celebrate Christmas.  We also box up dozens of goodies to take to friends and neighbors.

We even get the boys into the spirit of Christmas!

Traditions - we all love them

 August 27, 2021

TRADITIONS!

Do you have some traditions that your family does together on a regular basis?  I think traditions can be important to the whole family to hold it together and make it feel like 'This is what WE do!'

One tradition my parents had with our family was to have popcorn and shakes on Sunday nights. Gail and I carried on this tradition with our girls.  I have kept the popcorn in this old pail of my grandmother's for about 20 years. Recently I got a new popcorn popper for my birthday.  We eat the popcorn in the same bowls we were given for a wedding gift almost 50 years ago!! Those are some traditions.

Sometimes the grandkids come by on a Sunday evening and they know what the menu will be - popcorn and shakes! One time we had a neighbor stay all night at our house as he had no electricity.  He thought he was going to starve with this meal but I didn't weaken and served it and he did just fine!! It made a memory for him that he talked about for years!

One of our girls and her family have pizza and watch a movie on Friday nights.  The kids really look forward to this time. 

The definition of tradition is the transmission of customs from generation to generation.  Can I encourage you to start some traditions of your own within your family? These new traditions will bond you together and bring you closer to one another.  The tradition puts a stamp on your family saying: This is who we are!

Watch for more fun pictures of our traditions!

Refreshing your petunias....

 Aug. 26, 2021

In the fall I wrote a blog about getting your petunias to come up again in the spring.  I said to leave the old follage in the flower pots until spring.  Then it could be removed and watered and soon the tiny plants would begin sprouting.  Well - I took the folage off of mine and watered the pots this spring.  I was gone from home a few days and when I returned my sweet little dog had dug all of the dirt out of my pots!  

So I had to buy new potting soil and plants for the pots this year.  They have looked beautiful all summer but were starting to get spindly and strung out.  

So I want to tell you that about this time of year you can clip your petunias back.  Just trim the long stems off and they will start growing new ones again.  This way they will look fresh and good until the freezing weather comes. 

I trimmed these pots back about a week ago and they are starting to grow and bloom again.  

I did find out that the petunias I planted this year had more color and were prettier than those that came back from seed but then they also cost more money.  Hope you are having fun gardening too! So therapeudic and rewarding!

Having Faith Through the Fire - recap from John MacArthur

September 25, 2021

Recently Gail and I both listened to a broadcast by John MacArthur from his August 17, 2021,  radio program entitled Having Faith Through the Fire.  Seems like we end up in 'the fire' regularly in this old sinful world we live in.  These are the notes I took as I listened to the broadcast.....

There are four things we need to do if we want to be triumphant in the fiery ordeals we go through.

1.  Expect it

2.  Rejoice in it

3.  Evaluate it's cause

4.  Commit and entrust yourself to God 

The scripture he used was I Peter 4:12-19 where Peter talks about not being surprised WHEN fiery trials come. MacArthur said the early Christians were accused of burning Rome and were then hated, imprisoned, persecuted, and killed in terrible ways for about 200 years. Peter was writing his letters about the time Rome burned. Our lives aren't near that threatened but our troubles are big to us. We need to come through them victoriously!

He compared out hardships and trials to the smelting that was done to silver.  Ps. 66:10 "For you, O God, have tested us; you have tried us as silver is tried."  The composition holding the silver was melted down time and again to get the pure silver product as the end product.  It was a process that involved heat and time and the end product was pure and beautiful.  We are like the silver - we must go through a process to come out tried and true as a person living for Christ.  

Trials will come but we can come through them victorious!!!!  Remember the four points above and come through strong in the faith.